Must ... Refrain ... From ... Projectile ... Vomiting ...
Harvard does Yale?
If you thought The Times Weddings & Celebrations pages were bad (and I did) ...
The New York Observer has news for you, which I can basically sum up in one sentence:
I actually wondered if it was some sick joke, given the following ACTUAL QUOTES taken from the article:
"When Sarah Mascareñas, a blond, blue-eyed bombshell Yalie (yes, they do exist), first walked into the law offices of Cravath, Swaine and Moore, where she was starting as an associate attorney, she was prepared for a hefty workload and a big paycheck. She wasn’t prepared for Doğan Perese, also an associate and a dreamy, dark-haired Harvard grad (yes, those exist too!) who couldn’t stop staring at her."
Oh. My. God.
The reporter continues:
"They began furiously I.M.-ing." Later "she BlackBerried him a dinner invitation." (umm ... that's hot.)
Because they work so hard (for that "big paycheck," remember?) the "lusty legals" (YES, ANOTHER ACTUAL QUOTE) missed their reservation.
Awww. What should they do??
Yalie got the bright idea of inviting Harvard to her apartment. " 'It’s so rare that anyone goes crosstown,'" Yalie said. “For you …. I’ll go across boroughs,” Harvard said.
Um, Yalie, listen up. For sex, most men - Harvard or not - would go across GALAXIES.
The story goes downhill from there ... basically, they tried to go to the Hamptons, again they were working too much, they decided they loved each other, they celebrated random anniversaries, then he proposed with a romance novel and a big hunk of blood-diamond while she thought about all the work she had to do back at the office.
They're getting married in September, and will commence planning the early acceptance of their progeny to Princeton, the one Ivy they sort of wished they had on their joint resume.
BTW, the Observer's caption on the photo of "dreamy, dark-haired" Harvard and "blond, blue-eyed bombshell" Yalie?