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Don't Hate Me Because I'm Single

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Today's AM New York column


Junior year of college, I was in a really great relationship. Thanks to a combination of personal trauma and feeling like I needed to date more before settling down, I ended it. I lived to regret the decision, and he's now married to the girl he dated after me. But you know what? In the long-run, I was right. I did need more life experience before settling down. So I had a couple of unsatisfying relationships (one with a commitment-phobe with narcissistic personality disorder--fun times), but now I'm with someone who is ultimately way better for me than the guy I dated in college. This decision may be hard. It may haunt you for a while. But if you feel you need some self-discovery time, you're probably right. And I love how total strangers purport to know what you're like and what's best for you. Go with your gut; either you'll reconnect with this guy down the road or you'll find someone who fits a more complete version of yourself.
definitely the right decision. if you weren't 100% certain, then it was time to go. i broke up with a live-in fiance a few months ago. hardest thing i've ever done. but now, a few months later, i know it was the right decision. we wouldn't have made each other happy in the long run. could it have been a nice life? definitely. but that "nagging" feeling would always be there. trust your gut.
Kat, I don't remember dating you. Kindly, THE commitment-phobic narcissist

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