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Cosmopolitan's 50 Hottest Bachelors Party:
Words are Really Superfluous.

Me, Mr. Illinois (rrrrrr), and the gorgeous Miss Brooke Parkhurst

Best. Tuesday. Night. Ever.

There is nothing, NOTHING, better than screaming "TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!!!!!!" to hotties being paraded out like a herd of six-pack-possessing cattle.  De-licious.  (Man-licious?)

Okay, Okay, I take that back.  It could have been better if they actually DID take off their shirts.  And their pants.  And started singing, Pussycat Dolls style: "Doncha wish your boyfriend was. Hot. Like. Meeee.  Doncha?  Doncha?" and wiggling their little boxer-brief clad butts.

MMMM.  It's enough to make a girl want to incorporate man-candy into every party.  Or put a "man" prefix before every salacious adjective/noun.  Man-sational!! Man-Pleasant!  ... er ... right.  This is why Cosmo would never hire me as an editor.  But that's okay - as long as they keep inviting me to their Man-tastic parties!!!

Thanks to Brooke for being my obliging wingwoman throughout the evening, and not once laughing at me when I asked the boys in faux-reporter style, "But how does it FEEL to be a piece of meat?" and nodding seriously when they explained (usually with a thick accent) that aw, shucks, it feels real nice, and they sure are glad to be here!  Right, right, whatever.  Let's see that stomach again!

Kate White
, you are my hero.

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