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GOP's New Priorities: Making Sure Congressmen Call Back, Open Doors

I'm not sure if my blog readers realize this or not, but there's a function on Moveable Type which records any and all searches you make in that little box in the upper right hand corner.  By the 357th "Harold/Harold Ford/Harold Ford Jr." string, I started to see a pattern.  It's fine, no big deal, I get it - you care more about him than me.  Or perhaps you just wanted to see if I had posted those naked pics and/or sex videos.

Well, I haven't.  So stop typing in "Harold Ford birthday suit," alright?? [Note to the sarcasm-challenged: I'M KIDDING.  I would never post naked photos. For free.]  Okay, I did write a Cosmo article last July, but it was more "parable" than "hit job."  (Especially because I never named the dude. Until, uh, now.)

Anyway, the subject was more or less dead, in my opinion, until I got a call from a reporter at a Memphis paper a few weeks ago.  I thought about not returning it, but I didn't REALLY have a reason not to - and at the time I was working on a story in which I would have killed for a return call from a source, so I thought I'd do the reporter a favor.  I didn't say much to her - just a reiteration of what I wrote in the Cosmo piece, but it was enough, apparently.

Enough, that is, for the NRSC to send out a goddamn press release, complaining that Harold - clearly not a gentleman like those Republicans - didn't call me back.  Um ... seriously?

For Immediate Release:
Monday, October 16, 2006 Contact: Dan Ronayne
(202) 675-[redacted]

More Details Of Ford's Fancy Fling

WASHINGTON--The National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) issued the following release after The Commercial Appeal reported more details of Congressman Harold Ford, Jr.'s previous "nonexclusive courtship" with a Georgetown University sophomore:

"It's good to hear Congressman Ford's Georgetown University girlfriend's spring break planning didn't get in the way of his meetings with the President," said Dan Ronayne, NRSC Spokesman. "But the least Fancy Ford could have done was call her back after news broke of their relationship. Not providing closure is distinctly un-fancy."

It continues, but I think you get the gist.  I never thought I'd live to see the day when I could say the NRSC was defending my honor.  Hilarious.  Bizarre.  Strangely alliterative (did Dan work at Cosmo?)

Just to clarify, I dated Harold more than three years ago, back when I was young and more than a little clueless slightly retarded.  I certainly have impressions of him, but they have more to do with his lack of skiing ability than anything else.  As I said in a previous interview, he's a politician.  After living in DC for almost five years, I would contend that they're all douchebags, every one of them - Harold's no more douchebaggy or less douchebaggy than any of the others.  I make an exception for Barack Obama, whom I worship slightly (how original, I know).

Ford actually didn't do much of anything scandalous by dating me.  Sure, I was younger.  And a dating columnist.  And white.  But he was single, so it's sort of a moot point.  I did think it was hilarious when Lloyd Grove's assistant at the Washington Post rang my dorm room, asking "Is it true that you're 18 and dating Congressman Ford?"  I was pretty sure I wasn't 18, and told her as much.  Then I called Harold, who brilliantly responded, "Wait, you're 18??  YOU'RE NOT 18 ARE YOU?"  I remember thinking, "You idiot, if you didn't notice that I legally drank alcohol with you on multiple occasions, you deserve to be caught dating an 18-year-old."

In any case, there's not much more to tell.  Or that I will tell, I should say, unless we're sitting at a bar together and I'm very, very drunk.

But all of this - this focus on the personal lives of politicians - is treacherous territory.  Sure, it's relevant if they're possible-molesters or possible-rapists or even just shitty, cheating husbands (although most of them are the last, so perhaps we shouldn't count that.  It would be like saying ugly people couldn't run for office - you'd have seven elected officials left.)  For the vast majority of politicos, whom they date, which team they play for, whether they like blowjobs from interns or pages (okay, not pages) - it's irrelevant!

Do I know if Ford would be a good Senator or not?  Hell, your guess is as good as mine.  But I'd hate to think that a Republican could gain some advantage because the Dem was a shitty date.  I mean, c'mon.  REALLY??

If the GOP has to resort to "But He Never Called Julia Back," they're even more fucked than Keith Olbermann (and I) would like to believe.  I mean, can't they at least allege that he stiffed me on dinner?  Didn't buy me jewelry?  Refused to confirm the Wednesday before a Saturday night date?  SOMETHING!?!?  Damnit,  where's Rove when you need him??

That said, I appreciate that the NRSC cares about my emotional well-being.  Thanks guys.  Now, if you'd only care about my reproductive rights.

And since I'm being such a gossip, more photos after the jump.  Because, honestly, I really like my pink ski pants.

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