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Fake Dictionary Time: More New Super Creative Terms of the Day!! Rahoo!!



The ideas for these are thanks to the same girl who thinks I could have fucked JFK.  For the record, she requested credit as my "extremely glamorous blonde transatlantic friend who attracts degrees like she attracts boys."

I would have gone with: "Ivy League Hizo."  ;)  Kidding, [name of girl], Kidding!!!

Anyway, the new terms for today are as follows (and yeah, they're brilliant):
Backlist, n.

1. Traditional Definition: Earlier books still in print.
2. New Definition: Stable of boys and/or exes who can be trotted out for sex/emotional comfort when no new men are available.

eg: I haven't met a new guy for like four months - good thing I have a solid backlist.  No classics, but sometimes it's nice to reissue titles rather than speeding through new acquisitions.

(Read this, using the second definition, obvi.)

Jumpers, n.


1. Guys who always have long-standing crushes on you, the kind where if you said 'jump' tomorrow they'd always say 'how high'
2. Also meaning 'old comfortable sweater' in the 'I am settling for mediocre sex and relationship kind of way and also tend to leave you in the closet and forget about you.'

eg: I'm way bummed no further correspondence from hot, smart boy, I am tot giving up and must resort to being pursued by jumpers - godawfully boring british guy named Frank who's also a phd and is like 31 and oh my god I will shoot myself if I have to go to drinks with him, and this horribly overzealous Italian manufacturing heir named Herbie who is awful and not cute and sent the most cringeworthy email about liking me.  Yuck.

And yes, the above was an actual quote from the overeducated blonde's email.  I swear to god.  Okay, except for the "yuck" part.  I added that (creative license).

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