D-List Celeb Reader to Julia: Just Be Yourself.
And Sleep With Me.
From: D-List Celebrity/Model/Professional-Womanizer
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 2006
To: Julia Allison
Subject: Re: last night
Being you - embrace it Julia, stop apologizing for being a social climbing, motivated chick, who won't settle for mediocrity. You want something, you take it, and fuck anyone who doesn't like it. My unsolicited suggestion is that if you want to change something don't recant and explain it...just do it. The sooner you accept you the sooner you is a big hit [sic].
You're a hot bitch and, assuming you take care of that body of yours, you'll look like that for many years to come. Which brings me to photos of yourself; the picture on the bed was hot, and, if you want my opinion, I'd go lap-topless.
The rest of my advice will wait until we're curled up in bed....errr...i'm holding the remote and you're in the kitchen in a t-shirt and panties making me something to eat. ;)
[D-List name removed]
First of all, this fellow is in deep, deep denial if he thinks I'll ever make him something to eat. That is not how I roll.
Second, I don't wear panties. Okay. That's a lie, I do. Really big ones, actually.
Finally, I cannot wait until I is a big hit.*
*Yes, I meant to write it like that. Please refer back to email if you didn't get the joke.