DONATE to a Poor, Beleaguered Soon-to-be-Homeless Dating Columnist
Haven't yet given to a charity this Christmas? Consider me.
Reasons You Should Donate:
- So I don't have to run ugly ads.
- Because I pretty much qualify for food stamps.
- So I don't have to start selling drugs.
- Because as of January, I'm officially homeless.
- So I can one day afford health insurance.
- Because I'm not really in the mood to "write a book."
And yes, I got the idea from my friend Jessica Cutler, who's always maintained a button on her site with the tag: "Donate so I can Buy Slutty Clothes and Drugs!" When I asked her a few months ago if people ACTUALLY sent money, she said "yes - but they sometimes want my panties too." Um ... sounds pretty reasonable to me. If anyone wants my panties, we can make a deal. But you're not taking the comfortable ones.
(Update: Um, you do know that, like most things on this blog, I'm kidding. Right? Kidding. Well, not about the donating part. But about the panty selling. That's a joke.)