« Tonight, FoxNews, 9 pm | Main | Merry Christmas, Baby »

DONATE to a Poor, Beleaguered Soon-to-be-Homeless Dating Columnist

Haven't yet given to a charity this Christmas?  Consider me.

Reasons You Should Donate:
  • So I don't have to run ugly ads.
  • Because I pretty much qualify for food stamps.
  • So I don't have to start selling drugs.
  • Because as of January, I'm officially homeless.
  • So I can one day afford health insurance.
  • Because I'm not really in the mood to "write a book."

And yes, I got the idea from my friend Jessica Cutler, who's always maintained a button on her site with the tag: "Donate so I can Buy Slutty Clothes and Drugs!"  When I asked her a few months ago if people ACTUALLY sent money, she said "yes - but they sometimes want my panties too."  Um ... sounds pretty reasonable to me.  If anyone wants my panties, we can make a deal.  But you're not taking the comfortable ones.

(Update: Um, you do know that, like most things on this blog, I'm kidding.  Right?  Kidding.  Well, not about the donating part.  But about the panty selling.  That's a joke.)

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)