While surfing TheKnot.com the other night with my friend Rachel (total fiances between us = 0.  Whatever.  Details.), we stumbled upon these ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC ADS depicting possible future wedding dresses.

At first, we were confused.  What the hell was a naked man doing there?  Did he come with?  Because that sounds like a really good deal, except that most normal women, when actively searching for a wedding dress, have the whole "man" thing pretty much covered.

Furthermore, when these women think about their future wedding dress, they probably aren't like, "Wow, I really love this dress, but the thing that would make me want to buy it even more is if I could see it pictured with a totally naked man who isn't in any way my fiance rubbing his totally naked body against its pristine white fabric!"

Although maybe there are discounts for stains?

Um, honey ... this is fine for the wedding dress ad photos, but I'm going to insist you wear a tux to the wedding.  No.  Seriously.  'NUDE' DOES NOT WORK WITH MY COLOR SCHEME.