« So realistic you'll think you're actually watching Fergie | Main | In Chicago this Week, Slowly Shriveling Away »

The Whitest Girls U Know

Along with thousands of other similarly suburban-raised white girls, I can rap 100% of the lyrics to "Baby Got Back."


Indeed, I know several rap songs, including but not limited to "Paul Revere," any by Wyclef, and those involving Hos and disparate phone prefixes.  In fact, I have fond memories being 16, rollin' in my sea green Ford Contour in the northern Chicago 'burbs, screaming "Regulators, MOUNT UP!"  I did not know what a Regulator was, but if Warren G & Nate Dogg said they should Mount Up, they should, damnit.

[I've obviously mellowed in my old age, because Pocahontas' "Colors of the Wind" is playing right now on my iTunes.  Of course, the previous song was "Promiscuous Girl," but it's on shuffle so I take absolutely no credit for the irony.]

In any case, despite my practically encyclopedic knowledge of pop rap, I have - until last Friday - avoided using the term "Gatt" in conversation or, yes, flashing fake gang signs while posing for photos.

I italicize this because A) I'm shocked.  It seems like the kind of totally-obnoxious-cheesy thing I would do.  and B) My fellow really-really white girls seem to have taken a different direction.  Many ladies feel that, if in photographic doubt, GANG SIGNS = REALLY COOL.

In fact, this video really sums it up:


In homage to this, the ridiculously adorable, bring-her-home-to-mom, so-white-she's-clear media reporter Rachel Sklar and I decided to flash our own unique gang signs at Arianna Huffington's book party last Friday.

As I think you'll quickly deduce, they give us an ineffable aura of  "badass."  Also, confusion.

Do.  Not.  Fuck.  With.  Jewish.  Gangstas.

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)