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This Morning, Fox News Fox&Friends, 6:15 am. Yes. AM.

At what is practically the middle of the night, I'll be talking Paris Prison talk.

I've never said this before, and you'll probably never hear me say it again, but I actually agree with Andrea Peyser's assessment of the situation.  Too bad she had to go for the sexual jugular at the very end ... I mean, Paris is many things, but an "ignorant slut"?  Eh ... Ignorant like a fox.  As for the s-word, well, I think it's completely inappropriate to use that term, pretty much ever.  My problem with Paris has nothing to do with her sexual activity or supposed promiscuity, and bringing that into the discussion almost negates the rest of Peyser's (rather solid) argument - that Hilton is a spoiled, obnoxious brat who has never been told "no."

So yes, I'm finally and irrevocably against her.  I always thought she was amusing, deceptively clever, and played her role well.  But the whole "I have mental distress from going to jail so how about I just stay home instead" thing rubbed me the wrong way.  JUST SERVE THE GODDAMN TIME!!  Seriously, how hard is it to pretend it's a very, very spartan version of rehab, which is so totally in right now?  Also, an opportunity to lose weight (like, hurray! Usually those cost money!)  This is why she didn't make it as an actress.  And for christssake, it's two freaking weeks!!  TWO WEEKS!!  I've gone camping (essentially the same thing, but more mosquitoes) without cell phones/mattress material/toilets for that long!!  (and you know if I can do it ...)

Anyway, whatever.  Just watching the cameras swam her house during the debacle as if it was actually relevant to people's lives made me ill.  I'm thinking of pulling a Lloyd Grove ban and never speaking/writing/thinking of her again, except in my case it wouldn't be to get attention for my gossip column, it would be to continue my clearly naive and misguided belief that this world is a fair and just place.

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