Lindsay Lohan: Go Directly to Jail. Do Not Pass GO. Do Not Collect $200.
That's it. I'm done. DONE with any sympathy I might have once had for poor little Lindsay. No more Barbara Walters' "she's a nice girl," "she's a good actress." Not since I saw this last week. Excuse me for a bit of moralistic outrage here, but being a good actress (and she is) DOES NOT EXCUSE PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES AT RISK. Period! Look - she can drink and do drugs as much as she wants, for all I'm concerned. That's her decision. But the second she crosses that line - and it's a big one - that's it for excuses.
I was prepping for my CNN Glenn Beck segment later today, and asked my parents what they thought.
Mom: She needs to be spanked, grounded, and her allowance should be taken away.
Dad's suggestions come from the wisdom off the back of a cereal box (see below).
They then both offered to personally rehab Lindsay for 30k (what she's reportedly spending for 30 days of treatment). I have to say, they'd probably set her straight. After all, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, go commando or drive under the influence. Then again, I can't seem to stop eating sugar or posing for photographs. I suppose everyone has their vices.
My favorite idea for Lindsay:?
"Work on a jigsaw puzzle." Hell yeah! Samantha Ronson would be so down for that.
In the meantime, I think this should be her new theme song ...