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September 29, 2007

wow.

Every woman in the history of the world, at one point or another, has voiced complaints to the man she's seeing - and it is our collective fantasy (something which almost always remains a fantasy) that said man actually listen to our complaints, take time to reflect upon them, and then - holy crap - maybe ... evolve ?!?!

This is one of those (tragically rare) instances, and all I have to say is, if every guy so freely admitted his mistakes, no one would get any work done.  They'd all be busy having incredibly hot makeup sex.

On second thought, maybe it's good men are, on the whole, relentlessly stubborn - if only to protect our GDP.

September 28, 2007

Fashion Week Flashback: Tim Gunn

This was my favorite interview of Fashion Week ... ah, Tim Gunn, how I (and every other woman and gay man in America) love thee!

FoxNews' Lips & Ears



This week's show, taped on Wednesday, September 26

Watch this week's Lips & Ears, hosted by the fabulous Courtney Friel, here!  It will also air on FoxNews at 9 am on Sunday.


Last week's show - taped on Wednesday September 19

September 27, 2007

The Opera

Dr. Bobby and I went to the Metropolitan Opera to see Romeo & Juliet on Tuesday night.  It was gorgeous (of course), and the vocal gymnastics blew my mind, although to be honest, the story's been getting on my nerves lately.  I saw R&J at Shakespeare in the Park earlier this summer with my mom, and for some reason it pissed me off that they fell in love after like, 2 minutes.  It's hard to feel badly for a lovelorn couple when they DON'T EVEN FREAKING KNOW EACH OTHER.  Am I being too literal?  It just rang hollow to me.  I kept thinking "I want to shake these idiots!  Does Romeo even know Juliet's middle name?  NO HE DOES NOT BECAUSE HE JUST MET HER 30 SECONDS AGO."  I recommend living together for a minimum of 12-18 months before you decide to commit mutual suicide.


I got a new dress!  I'm not telling you where it's from.  Okay.  Fine.  You can buy it here.  Shut up.

CNN's Showbiz Tonight - George Clooney

September 26, 2007

What I Did Today

Shot outside of FoxNews after taping Lips & Ears (their stellar entertainment/gossip show, hosted by my friend Courtney Friel), I was going to go interview an astrologer for this piece I'm doing for Time Out New York, but I had a splitting headache and honestly, I just wanted a damn veggie burger from Houston's.  So that's what I did.  And I was also supposed to go to Mary Poppins, the musical, tonight, but I bailed, due to the exponential worsening of said splitting headache. (I had to work next to jackhammers all day long.)  I'm getting that "please dear god, get me out of New York" feeling, which I swear, is 98% related to noise pollution.

"Dynamic Fame"

I jotted down a few ideas at the request of an author doing a book called Dynamic Fame (I guess that’s his term for this reality-internet celebrity we have foisted upon us) ... they're not fully formed (oh, what is, really??) but it's a good jumping off point for discussion.

------ Forwarded Message
From: Julia Allison <julia@juliaallison.com>
Date: Tue, 25 Sep 2007
To: Author of Book
Subject: Internet Fame!

On Dynamic Fame

First, let's define Famous.  Famous, adj "known by many people."  So how is being known by many people helpful?

Well, it must be.  Otherwise, why the hell does vh1 & E! exist?!

If there were no evolutionary benefit to fame, no one would chase it – or certainly not as doggedly as they do now.  To be well-known gives many people (perhaps most people?) pleasure, and generally things that give us pleasure have their roots in something that at one point helped us.  There could be no other reason for the proliferation and (exponentially accelerating) mass obsession with fame.

Ultimately, I think it has something to do with the fact that people will DO things for you if you're famous or well-known. It's a type of power. So let's say, back in the day, you were famous amongst your little tribe, well, people would be more likely to bring you back nuts & berries & shit.  They’d be more likely to give you the better cave, the better cave women, the better spot in the hunting pack, whatever (I hate these stupid “back in the cave days” examples, but still, I can’t think of anything better).  Thus, fame was a type of currency very early on.

In any case, how does this relate to web fame? Well ...

Fame is funny. If you REALLY think about it, it doesn't MATTER whether you're famous throughout the entire world, like Brad Pitt, or all of America, like Mandy Moore, or famous just at your college, or famous in your chosen career (maybe you’re the most famous electrician in Des Moines!)  In any of these cases, you're going to accrue the benefits of fame – the adulation, the sense of false familiarity, the reassurance that people you don’t know personally will treat you well and help you out when you need something.

As long as you're surrounded by people who think you're famous, it doesn't matter where they are.  So the web, in a sense, has created billions of heretofore nonexistent opportunities for people to become famous in their own niches - whereas before they were limited to real world communities.

One more thing - the internet also leads many people to believe they are famous and, as such, begin acting in fame-addled ways.  As anyone who is familiar with E! or the celebrity newsweeklies, such as my employer, Star, fame often goes hand-in-hand with rampant and unrestrained egotism.  Rosie O'Donnell explains the phenomenon perfectly in her new book, Celebrity Detox:

“It is a shift that happens in the head and that very few celebrities will ever really speak about. … One begins to believe in the specialness, and a dangerous sense of entitlement takes over. … When celebrity addiction starts, you become impatient with, and even angry at necessary obstacles. You think could run a red light or two. And then you do.”

Therefore, due to the internet, a huge (and growing) number of people have acquired what a good friend of mine termed “situational narcissism.”

In terms of whether online tools like Facebook were valuable in creating dynamic fame, I’d say of course, in certain ways they were invaluable.  Namely, they facilitated dynamic fame amongst smallish cyber-groups that would never have formed otherwise.  But it’s important to note that while they were accessories to the crime, but they were not the genesis.  The genesis was the internet in and of itself, the internet as a medium with which to display and familiarize personalities.  Prior to the internet, your options for achieving fame were as follows: acting, athletics, politics, royalty or sure, you could get a little attention by killing a few people in a dramatic way.  Other than that, you were probably doomed to the dim twilight that knows neither MySpace nor YouTube.

Now, on the other hand, you need merely a T-1 line and a digital camera and three days from now, you could sit opposite Matt Lauer on the Today Show as 10 million people watch you give the director’s commentary on your poorly lit, badly edited 3 minute viral video.

Welcome to Dynamic Fame!  The anarchy which, at its most delusional, believes itself to be a meritocracy.

September 25, 2007

this does not bode well ...

It's 11:17 am and I've ALREADY eaten a chocolate chip cookie.  In addition to the egg & cheese on a croissant I devoured at 11:13 am.  I sort of feel like ralphing, actually.  One shouldn't have that kind of food in the morning.  Or ever, really.

Okay, off to write up Star's SCOOPS of the week for FoxNews' stellar gossip show, Lips & Ears, and then to interview an astrologer for a feature I'm doing.  Later today I'll work on next week's Time Out column (on breakups!  surprise, surprise), and then I feel a nap is in order.  Finally, the Opera!

Update: I spoke too soon!  CNN called to do a live-to-tape segment on the sheer fabulousity of George Clooney.  So that, instead of an astrology and a nap, is what I'll be doing this afternoon.  You can check out the clip this evening on Showbiz Tonight, 11 pm.

The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet

Catch me on Fox's Mike & Juliet Show this morning  around 9:20 am wondering aloud "Why is it that single women chase after married men?"

On my list of Things To Do If You Want to be Totally Miserable, that's number #3.  #1/#2 involves switching lives with Britney Spears or Kevin Federline.  So you can see how bad an idea this whole MAN WHO ALREADY HAS A WIFE AND IT'S NOT YOU thing is.  Bad.  Really bad.

UPDATE: Here's the first segment (it was three segments long, you miss the best parts!)  And yes, I know my hair looks like a crazy bag lady's.  arghhhh.

September 24, 2007

Today - MSNBC, 4:30pm

MSNBC is moving from their Secaucus, New Jersey outpost to a much more agreeable commute at 30 Rock (Rockefeller Center) in October, and thank god.  It's well known amongst the punditry that their Manhattan remote studios (Media 3 on 44th and 5th) have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad lighting - lighting that would make Angelina Jolie look like Joan Rivers without her makeup.  Yes, it's that dire.  As a result, I usually try to hike out to New Jersey, but today I didn't have time ... I won't even show you the video clip, it's not fit for public consumption.  Suffice it to say, I'm counting down the days until I can be bathed again in the soft studio bulbs.  (The photo below, thanks to the correcting abilities of my camera, does not do the bad lighting proper injustice.  You'll just have to trust me on this.  Or you could go on yourself and see.  You will cry/schedule a dermatologist appointment/give up on life afterwards, though.  Just saying.)

Quote of the Day

I'm not usually the "quote" type of person (I also don't forward "hilarious" chain emails.  It is one of my best qualities), but I ran across this today while cleaning out my overstuffed Ideas folder ... and I thought it was pretty dead on.  I'm not sure why exactly human beings expect to feel identically about their friends & lovers at every single moment, but perhaps the first step to combating this (and thus, the disappointment that arises when we're surprised by the natural ups and downs of our emotions, and those of our companions) is to simply realize it and accept it, and see how we feel the next day.

"When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way, from moment to moment.  It is an impossibility.  It is even a lie to pretend to.  And yet, this is exactly what most of us demand.  We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships.  We leap at the flow of time and resist in terror its ebb.  We are afraid it will never return.  We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity in freedom.  The only real security is not owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even.  Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now.  For relationships, too, must be like islands.  One must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits islands surrounded and interrupted by the sea, continuously visited and abandoned by the tides.  Once must accept the serenity of the winged life, ebb and flow, of intermittency."
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

September 23, 2007

Today, 10 am, CNN's Reliable Sources


Photo taken in the more or less abandoned CNN newsroom at Time Warner, directly before my segment on Reliable Sources, hosted by Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz.  Thank you to the photographer, who was a very good sport.  And rather sexy, if you want to know the truth. ;)

September 21, 2007

Tonight, 11 pm, CNN's Showbiz Tonight

Tonight, at 11 pm on CNN's Showbiz Tonight, I'm discussing the Britney-K-Fed custody battle - watch the video clip below:

September 20, 2007

ha!

If you read my blog regularly, you know I've been a stress case the last month ... so tonight I'M GETTING A MASSAGE, DAMNIT.  And no one can stop me!!!

Best massage place in all of New York City:

Asia Tui-na
37 E 28th St, Suite 800
New York, NY 10016
Phone: (212) 686-8082

The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet

Stills from today's segment ...

Good Morning!

Check out Fox's The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet this fine Thursday at 9ish-9:30ish, to hear my thoughts on When to End a Dead End Relationship!  (The segment I was supposed to do on Tuesday)

And, no, I haven't missed the irony inherent in the delicious timing of this particular topic.

September 19, 2007

If You Want to Know What Really Happened

Life has always managed to throw me rather dramatic timing, which I (mostly) quite like - I'm a big fan of the motto AFS (Anything for a Story).  So it's somehow fitting that my last quasi-not-quite-a-relationship was abruptly terminated on the first day of National Singles & Unmarried Americans Week.  That would be yesterday.

I'm not really sure who dumped whom.  Part of me thinks it was him.  The other part thinks it was me.  Mostly I think it was him. ... Although I'm actually the kind of girl who loves to go around telling people I've been dumped.  Maybe it's the sympathy (like the hair stylist this morning telling me to do something nice for myself - like get my nails done.  um, check!  they're bright pink.)  or maybe it's the instant camaraderie  - like the prominent gossip columnist getting her makeup done this morning in the next chair who, upon hearing my description of the events, said "Are you talking about the tech geek?  Why the fuck were you with that loser, anyway?  You should've dumped him after the first date."  And she knew exactly who he was, too. 

Actually, pretty much everyone echoed those sentiments.  Not a single fan could be found amongst my friends or colleagues ... odd, because when I had broken up with my last two serious boyfriends (admittedly MUCH MUCH more serious and long term), I think my friends and family were just as devastated as I was.

Normally, I'd leave my public description of the breakup at that.  No names, no real details, just an allusion to a (you'd assume) disappointing emotional event.

The truth is, despite having been a dating columnist for over five years now, I rarely divulge personal details.  People constantly assume I do, because, well, they probably own the Sex & the City 6 Season anniversary box set.  Um.  I mean, hell, I do.

But if you read back through my columns (don't feel the need to do this, just trust me on it), you'll find that while I might allude to an old anecdote (infrequently!) - I never name significant others, I never talk about our relationships, and I never post photos of them.  The man I dated for more than two years when I first moved to NY, I referred to only as The Boyfriend.  The last four guys I've seen haven't appeared on my blog or in my column, in any form.  Most men don't want the scrutiny, and I respect that - what I put out here is a tiny percentage of myself, but at least I have control over it.  To be deprived of that control can be frightening and hurtful (as one quickly discovers with gossip blogs).  I would never want to do that to a burgeoning relationship.

However, it seems that I've come to an exception.  This guy feels comfortable putting some truly intimate things on the internet - in fact, he asked me specifically to name him in my next column.  It would have been a first.

I won't name him.  It's not my style.  But I will reprint the breakup email after the jump, with a bit of context.  And yeah, a link to his blog.  Because while sometimes everybody shouldn't see everything, I've decided that for once, this isn't one of those times.

None of this I say in anger.  I don't feel anything right now, oddly enough.  It's really weird, because I definitely cried yesterday walking home from 42nd street.

He's 26, the youngest guy I've dated since I was in college (by far).  He's an intriguing, colorful, free-spirited, deeply creative soul.  He is also aloof and self-centered and unapologetically narcissistic, which in moderation would be fine, but he pushes the boundaries towards "asshole."  He's incredibly erratic - immature with bursts of maturity.  Myopia with bursts of self-awareness.  Selfishness with bursts of ... well ... there were a few moments - tiny glimpses - of who he could be if he took into account the feelings of others.  It was something very special.  I really liked that person - there I saw joy and an energy, an active curiosity, an exploratory mind with a lot of passion.

But due to a particularly potent combination of his natural I-don't-give-a-fuck-what-people-think coupled with a recent dose of Ayn Rand, I believe he's under the impression that compromise/consideration = weakness.  (I read her at 17, which is probably a safer age.  You can have a wicked superiority complex then; it won't hurt anyone.)

In fact, his ego is so inflexible that we once got into a huge row over ... whether he would shower.  He didn't feel he needed to.  Let me assure you, he did.

I know.  Insanity, right??  Like babysitting a seven-year-old.  But he's intelligent - I thought he'd self-correct.  I fuck up on a regular basis (don't even get me started on what I'm like when I PMS), but I'm really conscious of admitting when I've been sort of a shit friend or partner.  And occasionally, he was too.  But the other times, it merely segued into stressful power struggles.

Look, I have a strong personality.  I can power-struggle with the best of them.  But being with him frequently felt like - excuse the analogy, but it really is apt - Chinese finger cuffs.  Everything would be fantastic, we'd be comfortable and free, but then he'd pull a little or I'd pull a little, and feeling ourselves getting increasingly uncomfortable and increasingly stuck, we'd pull even harder, until we felt choked and frustrated and pushed (or pulled, I suppose) to the brink.  Or at least I felt that way.  I don't know what he felt.

I believe that part of growing up and becoming an adult in relationships is knowing when - and how - to let go in a war-of-strong-wills.  To get out of that situation - when neither wants to be the first to attempt detente - takes a great deal of emotional maturity and not a small amount of wisdom.  I'm not sure that was there.  I think it could develop, but it hadn't yet ...

Despite all this, I thought we had incredible potential - I wasn't looking for anything conventional (I need a lot of freedom right now), but I did want him to care.  And I wasn't going to sleep with him until I thought he did.

Nine weeks and we never reached that point.

** The specific context for the "straw" email is as follows: we were meant to go to Chicago for a weekend away.  He canceled.  He didn't make plans with me for Friday, and decided to "take a Mushroom trip" on Saturday.  He said he would call so we could "hang out on Sunday."

Sunday, 6:30 pm.  Nothing.

And that's when I decided I had to be very clear with him ...

------ Forwarded Message

From: Julia Allison
Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2007 6:50 pm
To: [redacted]
Subject: Re: To reiterate, in word form

You'll probably see this, but I'll just point it out:
http://blog.juliaallison.com/2007/09/just_wondering_1.html

I'm upset with you because I feel like you're putting me in a position where
I have to - for my own self-respect - stop seeing you.

And that would be really sad.

I didn't actually get pissed today until I checked your blog around 4:30 to
see whether you were using that camera thing, and I noticed that you had
managed to update it, but not send me a text regarding our plans.  It was
just so unbelievably inconsiderate and selfish.

And then to claim that our plans weren't definite?  No way.

I get the sense that you think I'm here when it's convenient for you and
when your (definitely moody) mood suits.  That's bullshit, and you know it.

I also get the sense that the women you've dated before put up with this.  I
won't.

Honestly, I just want to have an amazing time with you, think great
thoughts, reach some new creative heights together, maybe, who knows - have
SEX eventually, for chrissake.

I had a lot of incredible ideas I wanted to talk to you about tonight -
ideas about YOUR COMPANY!!

I just feel like you let me down.  I'm really disappointed, not only because
it would have been a really fun night, but also because I don't particularly
enjoy feeling like someone I care about doesn't give a shit about me.

And what will happen here if this continues is that I'll decide that I
dislike this feeling so much that I'll do anything I can to get away from
it.  And the result will be me getting away from you.

That is NOT a threat - because I don't want it to happen!!  I want to
continue to see you, [redacted] - I think we have a lot of things we can teach
each other.  But I need some basic respect first.

Julia

------------------------------

From: [redacted]
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:03 am
To: Julia Allison
Subject: Re: To reiterate, in word form

You deserve more respect than I've been treating you with. I think you pretty much nail it in this email. I tend to walk all over girls I date, in the sense that they aren't as high a priority as they ought to be. You are not an exception, and I will only grow more selfish (inconsiderate) in the future. For example, this week will be worse than last week.

I am not capable of giving you what you deserve in a relationship, even an "alternative" relationship, so, we should stop seeing each other. I think you are awesome, but I think it's impossible to be together.

-----------------------------

And so there it is, the demise of a budding relationship.  All over ... what, exactly?

I think it's too bad.  But you know what the weirdest thing is?  I also feel a little  ... relieved?  Can you be simultaneously disappointed and relieved at the same time?  Maybe I'll feel differently in the morning.

September 18, 2007

Fox's Morning Show w/ Mike & Juliet ... or Not!

So relationship expert and soon-to-be Lifetime reality tv star Matt Titus and I do a Relationship 101 segment every week for Fox's Morning Show with Mike & Juliet ... but today, we were all ready to go, dressed, be-makeup'd, prepped to debate the eternal, burning question "WHEN SHOULD ONE DITCH A DEAD-END RELATIONSHIP?"  (um, here's a hint: if you're asking the question, you're already halfway out the door.  Or you should be.)

Personally, I was raring to go (and I had three Britney segments on MSNBC directly thereafter, then a FoxNews segment on the View, and then a meeting at Vh1.  It was a LONG day).

But, alas, twas not to be.  Due to a proliferation of opinions about O.J., the A block ran long, and we were bumped!  Here's the decidedly joking video Matt & I made directly after the fact.  We love M&J, and we'll be doing the same topic next Tuesday.

Goodnight ... ish

Sorry to go all LiveJournal on you, but I'm listening to Toad the Wet Sprocket's "I Will Not Take These Things for Granted," which may be cheesy, but it's just what I need after a really tough day week, okay, month.

I just got home from a brief outing to a horrific club on 27th street with Leven - which honestly just goes to show how good a friend I am, because there is LITERALLY nothing I'd rather do less than hang out at a loud club on a Monday night.  Ughhhhhhhhhh.  Lev really wanted to see Mark Ronson perform (and I have to admit I understand the appeal), and I had promised her I would go earlier today, so despite the almost overwhelming amount of work I still have to finish before I sleep, I dragged myself along.  I refused to get dressed up, though - so yes, I wore practically no makeup, hair in a ponytail, jeans and the teeshirt I'd been in all day long.  It was awesome.  It took about four minutes to get ready and I was comfortable the entire time.  (This must be how men feel every day, damn them.)  Although some guy did say, "you look like you're 5."  Which actually sort of made my day.


I was filming Lev with her camcorder.


Some guy asked if I "was a tourist."  Confused (was it the striped shirt??) I wondered, "why?" and he pointed to the camcorder.  So I said, "What tourist films Mark Ronson IN A DARK CLUB on a MONDAY NIGHT?!?"  and he goes, "Good point."  Yeah, so there!


Lev's, uh, pretty psyched about Mark finally deciding to get on stage.  30 minutes late, of course.  Rrrr.

Tomorrow I'm doing Fox's Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, then three segments on MSNBC (about Britney), then a meeting over at Vh1, then prepping for FoxNews' Lips & Ears on Wednesday, and making sure my Time Out New York column is all set for this week.  Goodnight ...

September 17, 2007

Fashion Week Recap: Cynthia Rowley's Show


in a Cynthia Rowley dress, of course!

My writeup of the show for Star magazine's online Fashion Week coverage:

Fashion Week veteran Cynthia Rowley loves to hold her shows in New York's majestic Gotham Hall, and her Spring 2008 collection was no exception.  Brightly colored pink and teal bicycles were lined up on either side of the entrance to the runway, setting a playful tone, while mini-picnic baskets held caramel & cheese popcorn and a Fiji water bottle for seated guests. Photographers swarmed over happy, healthy looking Sex and the City's Candace Bushnell — perhaps eager to see her Lipstick Jungle hit the airwaves this fall? Also spotted in the front row: the former model and MTV VJ Karen Duffy, absolutely gorgeous in a tan deep V neck mini-dress, Disney star Sabrina Bryan in a effervescent pink Rowley concoction, The Wire actress Callie Thorne, House actress Lisa Edelstein wearing a teal A-line Rowley frock from her Fall collection and All My Children's Leven Rambin, in a black Rowley motorcycle jacket.

The actual show featured a 70s inspired aesthetic. The models wore heavy eyeliner and bright lips — very Bianca Jagger — and their hair long, curled and teased — very sexy bedhead. The hemlines were long, the silhouettes sexy. A lot of camel, ivory and ice cream colors to offset the tailoring. Several dresses shown had dropped waists, while the pants were cropped or narrowed and gathered at the ankle. Rowley is known for her sense of humor, and the show ended on a fun, happy note, with all of the models riding the adorable 50s style bicycles off the runway, followed by the lovely (and grinning) designer herself at the very end. Overall, a gorgeous, creative collection!

Up late thinking

I read an article like this and I can't help but think, "I'm a shallow, petty asshole who's doing nothing for the world."  It actually made me cry, which, I assure you, doesn't happen that often.

Not to mention that it makes the life I lead seem incredibly trivial, doesn't it?  It's so easy to get lost in that.  I guess the question I have is: are these worlds mutually exclusive?  In other words, do you have to choose - fashion/entertainment/celebrities/dating or ... doing good?  It's seductively easy to lose perspective in the former, but ultimately, how much do I help anyone?  Well, other than my stellar sartorial wisdom, which has probably made a difference in at least four people's lives.

I feel very tiny.  :(

Last Tuesday's Morning Show with Mike & Juliet

I never got around to posting my Relationship 101 segment from last Tuesday's Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, on the ever-controversial "Should you try to schtupp your friend's ex?" (I'm paraphrasing)

Personally, I've never done such a thing, but I have - in a fit of magnanimous but nonetheless bad judgment - given a fabulous ex to a girl friend of mine.  I quickly realized my mistake and took him back.  Apologies were made, lessons were learned, etc.

You are certainly welcome to watch the segment, but here's my short answer: Oh, HELLLLLLS NO!!!


September 16, 2007

Liveblogging the 2008 Emmys!

I'm watching the Emmys (in my official critical capacity as Star's Ed at Large) at my apartment with the adorable Leven Rambin, and we're liveblogging them right now on The Huffington Post.  Check it out here!

Just wondering ...

When do you give up on someone you're dating?  Where's the line?  Not the first time he disappoints you, or even the second.  But what about the third, the fourth, the fifth?

I disappointed the last guy I loved constantly.  It wasn't intentional - I happened to be emotionally bereft at the time, I could barely function, let alone be conscious of another person's needs.  But I let him down again and again.  He gave me five months of chances, and then one day, he drew the line.  And that was it.  Done.

Sometimes I wish I had that kind of rigid self-discipline.  I've never been good at cutting things off ... I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kinda girl.  But I'm in a place in my life where I just don't want to put up with bullshit (if you're asking "Is there ever a time in your life when you put up with bullshit?" the answer is HELL yes.  High school and college.)

The irony I can't get over is that I'm probably the least demanding, least needy, least high-maintenance I've ever been.  In fact, my baseline requirements for men I date are pretty freaking simple: do what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it, and be cognizant of how your behavior may affect my feelings.  In other words, just be considerate.  Seriously, is that really so damn difficult?

In my head I keep thinking "Wow.  I cannot believe he's fucking this up."

Fashion Week Recap: Betsey Johnson's Show

Betsey Johnson's Spring 2008 show, held in the Tents at Bryant Park (on September 11th) was my absolute favorite of ALL the collections I saw the entire week.  Hello, the theme was PROM, for chrissake!!!  It's almost impossible for me to describe without using egregious exclamation marks and lots of incredulous, positive expletives, so let's just put it this way: I squealed throughout the entire thing.  SQUEALED.  Which totally humiliated my friend and fashion week companion, the designer Mary Rambin.  She appreciated the theatrics, but not so much the crinoline.  As for me, petticoats and giant bows with poofs and flounces worn at a giant pink sparkle covered dance is my idea - literally - of heaven.  Check out Betsey's collection below:

Thanks to the extraordinary talents of the ever capable, always patient Eric Lodwick for making all of my Star Magazine Fashion Week videos possible.

Dear God, I love the prom.  I would go to prom every year for the rest of my life, if I could.  Twice a year, even.

with handbag designer and style expert Mary Rambin

September 15, 2007

Friday Night: Beverly Feldman Shoe Event

I spent Friday evening with Leven Rambin (who describes the night better than I), Noelle Hancock and Devorah Rose, the sylish size negative 2 editor-in-chief of Social Life magazine, who hosted a chic champagne & cupcakes shoe-party at Beverly Feldman's 5th Avenue store, complete with pink carpet arrivals (ah, only I appreciate details like that).  You won't be surprised to hear I didn't drink any champers, but I did, against my better judgment, wolf down two cupcakes (see photo below).  Ughhh.  They were delicious, although still not as good as Sugar Sweet Sunshine.  But that's physically impossible.

9.14.07 - Beverly Feldman shoes - Julia Allison.jpg
with designer Beverly Feldman - (I'm in DVF skirt, BR top & Beverly Feldman shoes - of course!)


zee eveilll cuppcakesss


with Lev (smiles courtesy of cupcakes & shoes ...)

In Praise of ... Noelle Hancock

You may never read me again after you start with Noelle's blog, "Just Putting It Out There" ... she's - among other things - hysterical, brilliant, witty, self-deprecating, gorgeous, blonde and yeah, a Yale grad.  I know, I know, it's just wrong, really.  But that's not the worst part - she has to be the most likable women I've ever met.  I adore her.  I want to adopt her and force her to toil at a desk next to me so she can make me laugh/feel better about myself all day long.  Hmm ... I've got to somehow figure out a way to do that!  Any suggestions?


last night at the Beverly Feldman event

September 14, 2007

First Date Sartorialist: What to Wear??

Last week, I asked the guy I’ve been seeing lately if he remembered what I wore on our first date (about 8 weeks ago).  “Ummm …” he paused, contemplating. “I don’t really know?  I just remember I could see your legs.  And they looked hot.”

Sigh.

All the hours I spent doing the typical First Date anxiety dance of “AHH-what-should-I-wear?!,” all the carefully considered questions, were for naught.  If I dress up will he think I’m stuffy?  If I dress down will I look cute enough?  If I cover up will he be turned off?  If I show some T&A, will he think I’m a slut?  Should I wear the heels or the flats?  The dress or the jeans?  The push up bra or au natural?  Hoops or pearls?   Black or pink?  And on.  And on.  And on.

All of that was reduced to “I just remember I could see your legs”???

The irony is that I think that’s a perfect glimpse inside 96% of heterosexual male minds when contemplating fashion.

They say that women dress for other women – that is, except when they’re dressing for First Dates.  In that case they’re most definitely dressing for men, except that they tend to forget men, uh, well, aren’t women.  The rules are completely different.

But what ARE the rules?  Check out this week's Time Out column, all about First Date Fashion.  I'll give you a hint: if it's remotely fashionable, guys probably don't "get" it.  Save yourself, your credit card and your date the trouble - just go naked.

First Date Sartorialist: What Do Real Guys REALLY Think?

7 Guys (I actually know), 7 First Date Outfits (I actually own)

What did they REALLY think?  Check out my poll here!

And READ WHAT THE GUYS HAD TO SAY HERE!!

THE GUYS
 
Ricky Van Veen, 26, Editor-in-Chief, College Humor
John Mulaney, 25, comedian
Matt Titus, 40, dating coach “Matt’s Little Black Book”
Steve Santagati, 43, NYT bestselling author, “The Manual”
Kristian LaLiberte, 24, gay boy-about-town, stylist/publicist Unruly Heir
Dr. Bobby Buka, 33, celebrity dermatologist
John Neffinger, 35, public speaking coach, Huffington Post contributor

THE OUTFITS

OUTFIT #1 - Casual

Juicy Couture jeans (Bleeker Street), James Perse tank top, Moe CLICK bag

Van Veen - I’m all for jeans, but there may be Amber alerts out for small children lost in those giant pant legs.
Mulaney - You look like a narc.
Titus - This is adorable. The casual is a lot less intimidating than high fashion and if you want a guy to ask you out, this outfit won’t scare them off!
Santagati – It’s simple, I know the girl wearing it is comfortable enough with herself to show up like this, and I get to see a hint of (sing like Julie Andrews here) a few of my favorite things – and I don’t mean silver white winters that melt into spring.   Mean bum and breast.  Just get rid of the turquoise table tennis paddle.
LaLiberte - The jeans are way too wide and make you look bigger than you are, and the shirt is too tight in comparison. You look like you are going to a hippie retreat to score some ass.
Buka - So close on this one! Imagine the jeans without bells and you’d have an easy winner. A clean, relaxed look – like the friendly, chocolate lab you always wanted.
Neffinger - Oh my God -- Jules, you're wearing jeans!  Did you actually put them on or just photoshop this?  If you showed up in this, forget the reservations, we're heading to the east village for people-watching, window-shopping, conversation and cheap eats.  Much as I love jeans, though, these are ridiculous, a designer version of the kind misanthropic teens scuff around sweeping the streets with. 

OUTFIT #2 - Straight from Work

Nanette Lepore suit (Bloomingdale's), Nine West shoes, Chanel bag

Van Veen - You didn’t have time to change after work? You’d think Scores would let you set your own hours.
Mulaney - This reminds me of that Michael Douglas movie DISCLOSURE where those people almost bone and then there is conflict.
Titus - Straight for work always makes a woman look smart (mentally and physically). I can never resist this look on a woman, it’s sexy for some reason, maybe the whole mental secretary with glasses thing? Where are the glasses?
Santagati – If you are coming “straight from work” to see me for a date then you better undo another button on your top or I’m going to want to talk about real estate prices, politics or accounting with you in this outfit.
LaLiberte - Kinda Princess Diana-ish before she got trendy. I’d wear this if you really don’t want any action, and you are trying to keep it professional. If you wore the jacket unbuttoned one with skinny jeans and stiletto boots that would be perfect.
Buka - I call this one the “Julia Allison.” The ultimate in self-promotion. She made fun of you in the high school cafeteria; now she runs PR for every celebrity you’ll never meet. 
Neffinger -  Straight from what kind of work?  The hem on the skirt is higher than all but the club dress.  Meanwhile, the black-and-grey check jacket with the giant buttons and rounded lapels says 'ladies who lunch.'  But somehow it all works together, a very cute outfit, say for an afternoon's shopping on Madison Avenue.  On a first date, though, this would make me wonder if I could afford to date you if I wanted to.

OUTFIT #3 - Little Red Dress

Diane Von Furstenberg dress, Nine West shoes, Moe CLICK bag

Van Veen - I like this – not too crazy, it’s playing it safe. Definitely good for a blind date with a bullfighter.
Mulaney - This is what I would wear if I was a dame. Then I would go to Filene's and kick some ass.
Titus - Little Red Dress is nice but screams out “notice me please.” I prefer the little black dress. This one reminds me of tomato sauce!
Santagati – This dress is the “Scarlet letter ‘B’” for BORING.  If I wanted to date a woman from the cover of Good Housekeeping, I would hang out in suburbia.
LaLiberte - I love this one.  Fancy, but not too cocktaily...revealing, but still demure. I’d wear different shoes -- the red shoes are a little matchy matchy.
Buka - Ok, ok, I get it - red dress, red shoes, red lipstick. It’s so put together I’m afraid to touch it. Can this girl even fart? 
Neffinger - It covers you up but flatters your figure.  It's eye-catching red with a big friendly bow.  What's not to like?

OUTFIT #4 - Preppy

Le Shack by Tracy Feith dress (Bergdorf's), Chanel bag, Bebe shoes

Van Veen - How convenient that our date is a picnic and you brought the tablecloth!
Mulaney - Duke Graduation.
Titus - No man can resist the preppy look. Just like Charlotte on Sex in the City! You look sooo innocent!?
Santagati – I went to school in Boston and the girls from Wellsley would wear this crap but were often good in bed.  When a girl wears this she’s saying “I’m conservative on the outside but naughty as all hell on the inside.”
LaLiberte - Preppy look suits you best, and it’s classy without being too frigid, because you show some skin. You look like you aren’t promising anything, but damn it would be hot if you did.
Buka - This is the girl you take cow-tipping or to a rodeo. Good, clean fun until somebody gets pregnant in the back of the Ford pick-up.
Neffinger - Julia, only you would ever wear this within city limits.  If the date in question is at the Kentucky Derby, then great.   If anyone else showed up in this dress in New York, she would have some 'splaining to do.  Like, for starters, why she stole your dress.

OUTFIT #5 - Little Black Dress

Chanel dress, Manolo Blanik shoes, Chanel purse

Van Veen - Ew. Very Charlotte. (yes, I watched SATC, and yes I abbreviate it SATC).
Mulaney - Meanwhile uptown, Charlotte and Trey blah bling blah etc. etc. etc.
Titus - This is my favorite. It is classy, sophisticated and not too done up. It doesn’t look like you spent all day getting ready, but that you care about how you look and it’s sassy!
Santagati – It’s cute if you’re 50 and going on an “Upper East Side Luncheon” with your Yorkie.  However, a little black dress is cute and always a safe bet, but it’s just that, safe.
LaLiberte - You look like you are trying to hard and your makeup is too heavy.
Buka - zzzzz…huh? Wha? Must have dozed off, because this girl’s BOR-RING! Looks like my Aunt Sadie! I bet she’s got the same nasally voice.
Neffinger - This is not the little black dress, this is a little black dress with some little doily details, something you wear to work because you need something conservative but not identical to what you wore yesterday.  Totally uninspiring, but totally forgivable. 


OUTFIT #6 - Sexy

Bebe dress, Moe CLICK bag

Van Veen - Wow, leave a little something to the imagination. For example, your cervix.
Mulaney - Are you holding a shoe-horn? What is that?
Titus - I’m a guy, so this is definitely my second choice. Leaves little, very little to the imagination and any guy who doesn’t put this one is his top two needs to be sent my way for relationship help!
Santagati – This is as hot as the jeans & tee but if a girl shows up in this she better be pretty confident because this doesn’t read “girlfriend material” it reads, “she’s gonna get it good.” HA HA.  It’s a great look if the girl wearing it knows how to handle the attention she’ll get, and I don’t mean be a bitch.
LaLiberte - Actually kind of like this if you wore a cute little jacket on top, and KEPT IT ON.
Buka - This is the girl Mom warned me about – this ensemble reads open Boxster and Bridgehampton. Order the salad, because you’re going to be buying lots o’ Veuve.
Neffinger - Well alright then -- straight to the club, do not pass go!  As long as you're not expecting me to take you to a fancy-pants restaurant, this could be fun.  If you want to be taken seriously as relationship material in this thing, though, you'd better talk about the more serious side of your life... which is tough to do over the sound system pounding out dance music.

OUTFIT #7 - "High Fashion"

Alice & Olivia coat dress, American Apparel leggings, Nine West shoes, Chanel bag

Van Veen - Where does she think I’m taking her, Mars 2112?
Mulaney - This is the worst thing I have ever seen and would only be worn by fools.
Titus - I am sure it works on the runway, but for some reason I am getting Star Trek flashbacks. No first date wear or second date wear either for that matter! But, love the Chanel bag!
Santagati – THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN; astronaut meets aerobic instructor is never a good look. Plus the lipstick is like someone melted a red crayon and smeared it on your face.
LaLiberte - Leggings scare straight guys I think.  I think it’s a trend that is kind of out. The coat is cool but you look a little barberalla-ish.  Too extreme for first date.
Buka - This dress is melting my retinas! High fashion, my foot! Send this space girl back to the ship before that thing climbs up her face.
Neffinger -  Is this coat sealskin, or the stuff astronauts wear for spacewalks?  Demerits for being a crazy fashion victim, but since you are, you do get points for going all out.  If you wear something with this much character, though, you gotta back it up with fun conversation and zany stories, otherwise it makes zero sense.

September 13, 2007

Montel!!!

I'm on Montel Williams tomorrow!!


TOP: Donny Hogan (Anna's half-brother), Peter Nygard (an ex-boyfriend of Anna's), Montel, Don Clark (former head of the Houston Division of FBI)
BOTTOM: Rita Cosby, me

Sidenote #1: I ADORE Rita - not only is she an exemplary journalist and incredibly sweet person, but she was the very first anchor ever to interview me on camera, back on FoxNews in 2003.  I had no idea how to do remote back then, so I sort of shifted my eyes back and forth from side to side instead of looking straight into the camera.  The effect was much like that of a white, preppy, female Ray Charles.

Sidenote #2: Peter Nygard, Anna's ex-boyfriend, asked me out after the show (I accompanied him to the Fashion Rocks concert).  Just think, if we got married (um, not happening), I could say "We met on MONTEL!"  Which I bet is something you don't hear that often.

September 12, 2007

Julia's Schedule - Wednesday

Fashion week is over, but I still have show writeups to do ... not to mention, a few television appearances.

9:30-11 am - prep for day's segments
12 pm - tape FoxNews Lips & Ears [Star's Scoops of the Week, Britney's VMA performance & Lindsay's sex addiction]
1:50 pm - FoxNews The Live Desk [Kanye West's reaction to Britney's VMA performance, claims MTV exploited her]
3:30 pm - MSNBC - Live [Rosie O'Donnell's new book says Barbara Walters is old]
4:20 pm - MSNBC - Live [Rosie O'Donnell's new book]
5:15 pm - go see possible new apartment, which will probably be size of a Chanel handbag, but slightly more expensive every month
6 pm - interview dog owners on the street for column.  does your dog get you laid?
8 pm - see a completely obnoxious boy who totally doesn't deserve me
10:20 pm - FoxNews - On the Record with Greta Van Susteren [Rosie O'Donnell's new book]

September 11, 2007

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Tuesday

Today's schedule is the most rigorous, but - thank god - it's the last day.

7:30 am - 10 am
Fox's The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet

11am
Monique Lhuillier

2pm
Betsey Johnson

3pm
"Man on the Street" interviews at the Tents on first date fashions

5pm
Heatherette

9pm
Just Sweet (J. Lo's Line)

September 10, 2007

Fashion Week Photos!

From tonight's Marc Bouwer show, which was achingly gorgeous - both the sharp black & whites and the stunningly bright rainbow hued dresses.  Absolutely my favorite collection of the week, better even than L.A.M.B.


I sat in the front row next to Courtney Friel, here in Robert Rodriguez with Louboutin heels.  I'm wearing Chanel and Manolos.  We both felt very fabulous indeed.


here with the amazing celeb dermatologist Dr. Bobby Buka

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Monday

Good Monday morning!  Here's the show schedule for today.

10am
Carolina Herrera

11am
Nanette Lepore (one of my favorite designers)

7pm
Marc Bouwer

September 09, 2007

Fashion Week Photos!

You may have noticed I haven't posted many photos lately (which is, um, cough, cough, VERY unlike me) ... I just don't have time!  Here's a few from tonight to tide you over until Fashion Week concludes on Tuesday.

9.10.07 - Fashion Week - Nicholai - Julia Allison Courtney Friel.jpg
with the smart, funny, and yeah, gorgeous FoxNews entertainment reporter Courtney Friel, who came with me to Nicholai (toting her best accessory - husband Carter, a reporter for Channel 9!)


with the hysterical and (obviously) fashionable Greg Littlely at the Unruly Heir show


Um, yeah.  I picked out this model to be the father of my children.  I don't know his name, but honestly, is that really relevant?  No, it is not.  LOOK AT HIM.  Are you still breathing?  In heaven, all men will look like this.  Also, they will be brilliant and enjoy discussing categorical imperatives, wearing polo shirts and pastel pants, and dressing up small dogs in outfits.  Except in heaven, they won't be gay.

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Sunday

Here's the (somewhat abbreviated) schedule for today.  Last night I couldn't sleep due to anxiety (not even really fashion show related - did I mention I have to move in three weeks?  Yeah, I do.  And I haven't found an apartment yet.), so at 3:57 am I got up, threw on some sweats, and walked over to the diner a block away to stress-eat a tuna melt with french fries and an enormous towering piece of lemon meringue pie.  I took a photo for proof, but it's really unflattering, so I'm going to leave it off the blog, unless I'm feeling really masochistic later.

5pm
Diane von Furstenberg

8pm
Unruly Heir

9pm
Nicholai by Nicky Hilton

September 08, 2007

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Saturday

Here's the schedule for today ... I don't remember the last time I was this overwhelmed (if it doesn't look overwhelming, keep in mind that, aside from reporting on the shows themselves on-camera and doing interviews with celebs, designers, stylists, and the subsequent write ups, I have to finish my Time Out column, make the usual tv appearances about entertainment news, oversee the video editing, etc etc).  Normal women, forced to go to multiple runway shows featuring gorgeous skeletons, would stop consuming calories.  Me?  I'm stress-eating like Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock - if I admitted what I've scarfed in the last week, you'd vomit.  Let's just leave it at: I asked Baskin Robbins if I could "start a tab" with them.  Oy.

12pm
Catherine Malandrino

1:30pm
Temperley

5pm
Rebecca Taylor

6pm
Diesel

September 07, 2007

This Week's Time Out Column ... Julia's (Dating) Book Club!

Like Oprah's but instead of the power to rocket your book to the NYT Bestseller List, the power to ... uh ... rocket your book to ... uh ... yeah, pretty much no power at all.

Oh well.

Enjoy my recommendations anyway!

As far as those naysayers who don't "believe" in self-help books ...

It is my (not so humble) opinion that no one out there is so experienced, so knowledgeable, so unfailingly together that they couldn’t gain something from the wisdom of another – especially with regard to the fraught relations between men and women and the seemingly inexplicable dance of insanity we call “dating.”  And yet, self-help books on this subject remain in the Rodney Dangerfield position on your bookshelf: shoved at the bottom, shamefully covered by a spine-uncracked “Bonfire of the Vanities” and Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time.”

Or worse, you pass by their pink & purple displays at Barnes & Noble, thinking to yourself “Ha!  Only LOSERS read those!”  Say what, Casanova?  Are you the Mary Poppins of relationships - practically perfect in every way?  Have you nothing to learn about the opposite gender?  You understand their every thought and action?  Really?? I think not.

Moreover, can you answer the question “What do men/women want?” without hesitation?  Oh you can?  Maybe you should write a book then.  For the rest of us, why don’t we admit we don’t always know what the hell we’re doing, and we could use a little help.

Everyone, say it along with me.  Hi, my name’s Julia, and I sort of suck at dating.

So!  Now we have that out of the way, go buy the damn books.

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Friday

Running to Cynthia Rowley's show over at Gotham Hall right now!

Yesterday was wild -  after a long day at Montel Williams, I met Lev at The Daily's Bryant Park Hotel Fashion Week Suite, where we both ran into David Blaine, who asked us to have dinner with him at Koi downstairs.  He's certainly a character.  When he bent a quarter in my hand at the table, I have to say, I had one of those "holy shit" moments.  More to come ...

 


After dinner - Lev's ride home ...

September 06, 2007

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Thursday

Today I was supposed to go to Miss Sixty at 10 am, Bill Blass at 11 am, Cynthia Steffe at 1 pm, and Badgley Mischka at 2 pm, but I'm doing the Montel Williams show instead.  Will still be covering Fashion Rocks (the huge Conde Nast sponsored concert tonight at 8 pm) ... look for photos and video from yesterday's sartorial insanity coming this afternoon!

September 05, 2007

Julia's Fashion Week Schedule - Wednesday

In case you were curious as to the Fashion Week insanity that will dominate my next ten days, take a look at my schedule for today ...

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 5TH:

11am
Perry Ellis

11:40am – 12:50
FoxNews Lips & Ears taping

5:30pm
Charlotte Ronson

7pm
Nicole Miller

8pm
LAMB


9:30pm
Calvin Klein Underwear Anniversary Party

September 04, 2007

Behind the Scenes at NY Fashion Week - Tuesday

Fashion Week really starts in earnest tomorrow, but I made it to Carlos Campos' show tonight, along with Leven and the fabulous Gregory Littlely.  Besides Lev, there were really no celebs in attendance (okay, there was some girl who won ANTM, but I didn't recognize her).  No matter, his collection was delicious - like sherbet.  The models weren't so bad, either.


If I were a guy, I'd definitely wear his stuff, although then again, if I were a guy, I'd be a flaming, flamboyant gay.  Also, FYI, that is an American Apparel skirt.  The real designer stuff doesn't come out till tomorrow!!


With my cameraman & video editor for the duration of the week, Eric.  Throughout the evening, everyone kept mistaking him for a model (he's exceptionally tall & thin, and has that sort of model-y look) - so much so, that I made him a bet.  If, by the end of Fashion Week, he hadn't yet been approached by an agent, I would give him a twenty - and set him up with one.  After hearing what the male models make per show, he readily agreed.

September 03, 2007

Behind the Scenes at NY Fashion Week - Spring 2008


Shot on August 30 at Time Out New York.
Nanette Lepore suit, Chanel bag, Nine West heels

Above is one of my Fashion Week outfits.  What, like you didn't think I had them all planned out?  Foo. I'm like Alicia Silverstone in Clueless when she looks in her closet and it's all computerized with polaroids and schedules of what she's worn when.  Except my closet isn't actually computerized.  YET.   Anyway, I'm just hoping everyone thinks these shoes are YSL and not Nine West.  I know, I know, wrong crowd to attempt trickery with ... But c'mon, who the hell can afford $650 shoes?!?!  Four words: NOT. EVEN. REMOTELY. ME.

From Sept 5 - 12, I'll be IN THE TRENCHES (wearing trenches?  hmm) covering Fashion Week for Star Magazine.  We'll be posting my SUPER EXCLUSIVE BEHIND THE SCENES commentary & videos on StarMagazine.com - although I'll put up links here.  PLEASE, people, don't rush to ask me about the latest trends all at once now.  I'm a Style Guru, obviously, but I'm only human (thus the Nine West shoes).  I'll take your questions one by one.

PS - In case you want to keep up on Fashion Week with multiple sources (aside from my own rigorously detailed commentary, of course), I recommend reading The Fug Girls at New York magazine, who are beyond brilliant - they make me cry with their sartorial wit.  It's really sad, actually.  For me.  Also, check out Fashionista, which is a bit Insider-Baseball, but that can be a welcome change from the sweeping generalizations ("Black is in!  Coats are in!!  We like Marc Jacobs!") in many women's magazines.  Not sure about their love for TeenVogue, but hey, no blog's perfect.  Finally, Jezebel will probably have some commentary, too, and it will no doubt be written with that slightly twisted but excessively real approach for which I unconditionally love them.

September 02, 2007

FoxNews' LiveDesk Today

Was on FoxNews' Live Desk today at 1:30 pm, discussing Hulk Hogan's son's reckless driving.  FOUR SPEEDING TICKETS IN HIS FIRST YEAR, not including his recent accident, which left a friend of his in critical condition.  Um, hello, Mom & Dad?  Maybe it's time to take away the license now.  Just a thought.

September 01, 2007

Foxnews' Redeye Last Night


That's my "Ode to the Ghetto Handbook" dance right there.  I feel that such a manual would surely be a runaway bestseller.  I mean, if On Bullshit could sell like 8 billion copies ....


What you should do instead of having sex with your ex.


This is where I said - um, and I'm paraphrasing here - "Maybe more men SHOULD have a negative body image.  Jesus, have you seen the average man's body?  Get yo'self to the GYM, foos'!"  I didn't actually say "foo" but I wish I had.  My thinking on this is that it's really unfair that women feel like crap about their bodies 145% of the time, while men, who have paunches and saddle bags of their own, aren't even acquainted with the CONCEPT of bodily shame.  Of course, I should take my own advice.  The only gym I've seen lately is um ... yeah ... no gym at all.  Although I haven't eaten a chocolate chip cookie in like, three days, which is a personal record.  (It IS Fashion Week next week, after all.  Although I'm seriously contemplating a scoop or four of Baskin Robbins' Gold Medal Ribbon ice cream right now.  Damn them for being one block away!!!)


I think this is one of my favorite screenshots ever.  I don't know what I was reacting to, but in my head, there's a little bubble that says "Oh, no you diiiiiiiin't!" and maybe "I know I TOLD you stay up OFF my MAN, bia!"  or something.  I blame the Ghetto Handbook for these thoughts.