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Tech Guys, Listen Up


Lilly wishes the doggie sweater sites were blocked on my computer.  Forever.

Although at times it seems like everyone and their parakeet Frisky have their own website, uh ... how shall I put this - they don't.  Yet.  But it will get much, much worse.  After all, how many of your exes/current romantic partners have a blog, let alone one where they post personal info/photos/(god forbid) videos?  Probably only one or two.  But as blogging software becomes more user friendly (or people adopt the stripped down versions, like Tumblr ... which I still say in my head "Tum-bRRR"), Facebook profiles more detailed, online video sharing sites like Vimeo, Viddler and YouTube more popular, an ever-rising percentage of the men or women whom you've seen unclothed will have information web-accessible.

Which means that soon a groundswell of support will grow for software that easily blocks their URLs for a specified period of time, so, in moments of weakness (which for me is like 95% of the time), you can't look at their pages to see gorgeous photos of their new girlfriend, who is from Brazil and has inner thighs which don't touch each other.  Bitch.

M---, the computer science guy I dated last year, developed his own makeshift version when we broke up and he didn't want to be able to access my blog, lest he read about the places I was vacationing with the new guys I was dating.  Totally understandable.  (I think he might have even blocked Gawker as well.  Even smarter.)

I envision something like this: a simple platform that blocks whatever URLs you type in (including Facebook profiles, Flickr photostreams, even, yeah, Vimeo channels), for a limited period of time, which you can adjust accordingly.

Maybe you're PMSing and lord knows what sorts of mushy (or worse, bitter) crap you might leave on your ex's Facebook wall - you only need 3 days and you're back to rational thought.  Or maybe you have a deadline and you really, really want to stop yourself from watching your not-quite-a-boyfriend's inane lip dubbing video for the 8th time, so you block his URL for 3 hours.  Or maybe you realize you need to detox on celebrity gossip - and you block Perez Hilton's blog for 3 months!

So tech nerds, make it happen.  Because honestly, I have work to do.  And this whole personal-stuff-on-the-web thing?  Very distracting.