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July 30, 2007

Hmmm


with Michael Arrington last Saturday night at some Laughing Squid party

So maybe someone can explain this to me -  let's just say, theoretically, you express an interest in somewhat geeky tech guys*.  Let's say you express this interest whilst at a party full of said guys, in front of a girl video blogger.  And let's further say that this blogger decides that your interest in the aforementioned guys is directly correlated with your interest in their high valuations, despite you saying nothing of the sort and repeatedly making facial expressions that indicated, in general, you were attempting (perhaps failing, but nonetheless attempting!) to be cute/humorous.

Let's also say that (theoretically) you're used to taking all sorts of shit from anonymous interweb-type commenters who don't know you, but really, really enjoy making judgments about your promiscuity/intelligence/motivations/ample-rear, so you (honestly!) don't really mind much, and have learned to actually sort of find it all quite amusing, even the part where people try to guess how many STDs you have.  Well.  Maybe not that part.  But the rest of it.

Should you then assume that anyone with a decent level of irony will get who you really are and that the aforementioned video blogger wasn't necessarily trying to be malicious, but simply editing a series of statements into what could arguably be thought of as really bad performance art?  Or should you think that she's sort of a biotch who you should challenge to a geek-girl-rumble, maybe an AIM-off, with Justin.tv and Jimmy Wales and maybe some guy from YCombinator as iPhone wielding referees?

Or should you just stop clearly procrastinating with obnoxious and sort of self-indulgent rhetorical questions and focus on actual work?

*to be very clear, that's not an oblique reference to the one pictured above, although Mike is a great guy and Meghan and I enjoyed his company.

May 16, 2007

What I Sound Like in the Morning, On Speaker.

Nothing to do for the next sixty or so minutes? Why not listen to a tinny version of me talking to the editors of Amore magazine right after I woke up one morning last week? I'm not sure I say anything amusing, but I do talk for quite some time. Whatever, it's either that or you can actually do work for your job or something. I understand if you choose the latter.

February 21, 2007

My Father: Way Smarter / More Photogenic than Me



My dad, rocking it in Crain's Chicago Business this week.

February 15, 2007

Gawker + Julia = 4Ever



Umm ... right.

Or until the next morning, when they wake up sober and disoriented, wondering why they ever got in bed with me.  Even if it could plausibly be construed as a hate f---k.

Enjoy the February Pinup photos here (caveat - NSFW ... or parents.)

And, er ... the "making of" video here.

In my defense, I was ... wait.  Nope.  Wasn't drunk at all.  Damn.

February 12, 2007

My Valentine's Day Gift To You ...

Yeah, I didn't get you roses.  Or candy.  Or a red iPod engraved "Will you just sleep with me already?"

But in honor of the upcoming holiday, I will give you the link to my first - and only - foray into acting.

That's right ... below, Georgetown Film Festival's Best Picture Winner 2004, DOGNAP.

The 'napped dog in question is, of course, my very own Lilly Priscilla, DC's best known shih-tzu.  As for me, well, I don't think casting directors will be banging down my door - I was told by the directors to "play myself" and as you can see, I'm not very good at it.  Also, my memorization skills top out at seven words, so it looks like I'll be sticking to jobs involving teleprompters ... Lilly, on the other hand, has four agents, two assistants and a driver.  Bitch.

Enjoy.

January 09, 2007

Dubious Honors Are My Favorite Kind of Honors


with Gawker Managing Editor and Balthazar breakfaster Lockhart Steele

So sweet, those munchkins over at Gawker.  They've named me one of their 2006 Personalities of the Year, which means that it's all downhill from here, obviously.  After all, where else could I be on a list with Judith Regan, Tinsley Mortimer and Jared Kushner?  Um ... nowhere else, I assure you.

Apparently I've made their lives "that much more tolerable this year."  If only my editors/boyfriends/parents felt the same way.

November 17, 2006

Breaking Not At All Breaking In Any Way: Guys Want Hookups, Girls Want to Date, Geriatric Pillowfight Ensues


"I thought I told you 'No more hooking up without commitment,' you old-ass motherfucker! ... My oxytocin is acting up again."

An adorable senior at Columbia rang me the other month to ask a few questions about "hooking up" for an article she was writing.  Big mistake; I'm difficult to silence after I launch into the subject.  After listening to me ramble for what must have been at least an hour (the poor thing) she actually managed to derive something mildly coherent out of the mess.  Impressive.

Here's the result:  How the Hookup Changed Since 1969, by Jennie Morgan

Although I highly encourage you to read the engaging and well-researched article in its entirety, I'll paste the excerpt in which I was quoted below:

Today's dating process has given rise to a great deal of confusion regarding the difference between a relationship and a sexual encounter. Judging from the phenomenal success of blunt self-help literature (The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, and He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo), much of the confusion is apparently felt by women. For the most part, the aforementioned manuals advise a return to the courtship rituals that flourished in America between 1920 and 1965 (dinner dates, playing hard to get), which relied on the belief that a man who is offered sexual intimacy too quickly loses respect for a woman.

"Girls think, 'I can hook up with a guy and care just as little about it as he does,' but they try that, and realize it's not biologically possible to feel that way." said Julia Allison, a sex columnist for AM New York and formerly The Hoya at Georgetown University, who is a proponent of old-school dating. Before graduating in 2004, Allison took a year off from college to work full-time on Capitol Hill.

"That's how my column in the Georgetown paper came to be," she said. "When I was in the working world, I saw something I had never seen on campus - men courting women. When I went back to college, my friends all said, 'The most a guy can do is get you a beer from the keg.' I said, 'That's the most he can do if that's the most you ask of him.'"

Allison cited a discovery by Sue Carter of the University of Illinois: the hormone oxytocin, which bonds sexual partners to one another, exists in much higher quantities in a woman's brain than in a man's. "Women feel like crap that the guy is blase about this casual hookup, even though they may have been blase about it too at the beginning," she said. "There is a discrepancy between theory and practice."

...

Despite the lack of documented evidence on today's trends, it's undisputed that young men and women in the present are as intimate physically as they have ever been. Still, observers have noted that this physical closeness has failed to inspire greater emotional commitment.

The reasons for the departure from emotional free love toward emotionally detached hook-ups are varied. Most obviously, the free-loving '60s have been presented to our generation uncritically. In the mainstream media, we've seen Austin Powers shag happy-go-lucky girls and been charmed by scores of Bond women. Through the lens of the Hollywood camera, free love looks fun rather than awkward. Furthermore, because our generation was raised by parents who made casual sex commonplace in their youth, current students may lack a parental model for formal dating. Allison added that "most girls only have friends who hookup or don't date at all, so they've never seen anything else that can work."

"There are dozens of stories about hookups turning into relationships," she added, "but it's a crapshoot. There are also dozens of stories about people winning in Vegas."

###

Mmm.  Vegas.

November 16, 2006

Puppy Langdon Gets His First Gawker Mention; Concerned about "Overexposure"




Yeah, I look like crap when I get up in the morning.   But Langdon (and Lilly) pretty much look suave no matter what time it is.  Especially when they're pimped out in blue and pink tee shirts.

Oh, like you thought I wouldn't dress up my dogs??

November 03, 2006

Gawker + Julia = BFF

Dearest Gawker,
Kiss my ass.   :-)
xoxo
Your Best Friend
Julia


PS.  I got a B+ in journalism class, bitches.
Okay.  Maybe it was a B.

September 26, 2006

Internizing - Like Womanizing. But Younger.


Our most favoritest Washington interns EVER!

BREAKING NEWS: DC Interns Are Hot and Everyone Wants a Piece of Them

Yes, that's the real title.  I swear.  Subtle, eh?

Mike Hume, a fellow Georgetown grad and reporter for the Falls Church News-Press, takes on the sordid world of HOT DC INTERNS and the MEN WHO WANT TO BANG THEM.  (And yes, I realize the article appeared like, over a month ago, but as you may have noticed, I'm not exactly known for my timeliness.)

I have a few small quotes in the piece, where I'm described as a "former Hill worker," which sort of sounds like "former sex worker."  I suppose the two jobs aren't all that different, if you really think about it, except that sex workers get paid a lot more.

Although I've never been an actual Hill intern, I'm nonetheless OBVIOUSLY qualified to talk about skankiness amongst our government's free employees, or "skinterns" as they now call them.

For your amusement, I've pasted the actual transcript of the interview of our interview after the jump.

Continue reading "Internizing - Like Womanizing. But Younger." »

August 09, 2006

Jogging for Jesus ... Holla!

This is what one does "for fun" at Catholic schools like, uh, Georgetown ...

JOG FOR JESUS BABY!!!

Wait, who's that girl in the pink with the small white dog????

I take no responsibility for my ridiculous outfit. I was a senior in college and largely devoid of logic. Given, that was only two years ago ...

June 25, 2006

Ooo Ooo Pick ME! Pick MEEEE!!!

I officially nominate myself, (see photo below, in Congressional office 5 years ago), for the Hill Intern Hotties Contest, sponsored by Wonkette, authority on Governmental Hotness (or lack thereof).

DC 2001.JPG

Okay, soooo ... actually, I'm not an intern on the Hill. In fact, although the photo above was taken during the inauguration (2001) at the Congressional office where I worked, I've never been an intern on the Hill. Which, I suppose, pretty much rules me out of the running. hmmm ... or DOES IT?

... thinking ...

Yeah. It does.

Damn. I would have schooled these beyotches. (Um, is that how you spell "beyotch"?) Okay. Maybe not. But as a nubile 19-year-old, I could have at least poured beer water on them. Or better yet, given their boyfriends' head. (kidding, mom, I'm KIDDING.)

Back in the day (way back, you know, like five years ago), I had taken a year off during college to work for my hometown Congressman as a legislative correspondent. I realize that means absolutely nothing to (most) normal people. Let me translate: I wrote lots of banal form letters to really angry constituents in which the primary objective was to pacify them without actually saying anything of substance and/or mentioning the word "Republican." (Which, oddly enough, was perfect practice for being a dating columnist.)

The whole "not being an intern" thing was a big deal to me then - it was a HUGE point of pride. I would go around shoving my business card in people's faces like: "Oh yeah, sucker?? You think you can tell me to go get you coffee? I may not be allowed to legally imbibe alcoholic beverages - yet - but I'M NOT A MOTHERF--KING INTERN!!!"

Okay, I didn't really include the expletive. But I was THINKING it.

That having been said, now that I'm older (practically dead, really), I find myself becoming nostalgic about the concept. There is a certain hotness about being - or having once been - the proverbial political intern. After all, there are very few times in a young woman's life in which she can arguably become one of the quintessential male fantasies. ("Cheerleader? Check. Schoolgirl? Check. Intern? Check. Bisexual Asian Porn Star? Uhhh ...")

And PS - This pretty much sums up what I really learned on the Hill:
"Beer before Liquor, Never Sicker. Liquor Before Beer, As Long as the Chief of Staff is Drunker than You, You're in the Clear." Thanks Uncle Sam!

Guinness.jpg
Hawk & Dove, Washington DC, 2001.