Julia's SUPER WICKED AWESOME BESTEST Holiday Gift Ideas Ever!!! (well, for 2007 at least)
Tired of the same old bullshit Bath&Body-Works-shower-gel-and-loofah-set kind of gifts?? Of course you are! They are a pile of SUCK.
In no particular order, here are some WAY FUNNER ideas:
For the girl/guy/dog who has everything, except their own URL and a blog
Buy them a URL from GoDaddy.com (it's only $10!), then set up a Tumblr account (the blog software even your mom can figure out). Then, when it's time to exchange gifts, just tell them to go type in their name. Awesome, right?? Just think, you've now contributed to a significant decrease in their productivity for the next YEAR. What other gift does that besides Xbox?!?!
For your grandma, who's not 100% clear on the concept of "computers"
Printer that sends email & photos to old people who don't own computers
For your friend who takes washing clothes VERY seriously. In card, joke about combining red socks and white sheets. Watch her cry.
Anything from TheLaundress.com
For that walking contradiction: the Organized Procrastinator
"Later" File Folders
For the nap-lovingest person in your life
Bath & Body Works - Sweetest Softest Nap Blanket on Earth
Bath & Body Works - Sweetest Softest Lambie Sleep Mask on Earth
For the one who just can't STOP napping
"Clocky" - the Alarm Clock that Runs Away and Hides
For your OCD friend
Take Charge Charger Case
For your ditzy friend
Do Not Forget Door Knob Organizer
For your ignorant friend. This'll learn him.
Subscription to The Economist
For your friend who WILL. NOT. STOP. TEXTING. even though it's negative 20 out.
J.Crew Wool-Cashmere Convertible "Texting" Gloves
For anyone who needs a little perspective
For anyone who needs a little oral hygiene
Braun Oral-B Power toothbrush 9900 (my parents once got me a dentist appointment as my sole Xmas gift. I am exaggerating 0%.)
For the 15-year-old in your life. Or the girl who wishes she were 15.
Design Her Gals Stationary
For the 7-year-old in your life. Or the girl who wishes she were 7.
Out to Tea hair bows
For that friend who basically works in the real life version of The Office
"I'm Savin' Up to Quit My Job" Tin Bank
For the girl in your life who thinks of her clothing as ART which should be displayed
Pottery Barn Teen - Pink Dottie Dress Form
For the friend who bores the SHIT out of you
"Would you rather...?" Conversation Starters Original Set
For the dog lover who's too poor to hire a dogwalker
Walking the Dog Doorknob Hanger
For your friend who just got knocked up
Baby Tattoos - see? Parenting is fun! You can tat your baby up!
For your girlfriend, who won't wear Uggs (SOOO 2003!!) but then refuses to walk outside for more than a block in her 4 inch pumps, which makes it difficult to actually do much. (I own a pair and they are the best thing to have ever happened to my feet.)
Rubberduck - Snowjoggers
For a sibling you farted on in your youth
What's Your Poo Telling You?
For that crazy friend of yours who uses her kitchen. (Or your mom.)
Lazy Spoon. I wouldn't normally condone a $27 spoon, but, I mean, this is pretty brilliant. And hell, it's Christmas. GO CRAZY!
For married friends in couples therapy.
Marital Bliss Chocolate Bar
For your stylish friend / sister
Elbow Length Gloves
For anyone in your life who already owns (or aspires to own) monogrammed bath towels
Crabtree & Evelyn - Rosewater collection
For the annoyingly serene Yoga bitch in your life. Slut.
For your favorite alcoholic (so many choices!)
Dear Cab Driver Paper Napkins
For the one friend of yours who actually owns Louis Vuitton luggage, and every goddamn time you vacation together, becomes convinced all the other passengers are trying to steal it.
Funniest Luggage Tags Ever
For your friend who just owns LL Bean luggage.
Luggage ID Tag
For your friend who gets into bitchfights with TSA. Every. Time. ("Do you KNOW how much this Chanel Lipgloss COSTS!?! I AM NOT THROWING IT OUT YOU WHORE!")
See-Thru Cosmetics Travel Bag
For your iPhone obsessed boyfriend. The iPhone MUST NOT TOUCH THE FLOOR.
Mobile Device Charging Holder
For the crankiest bitch you know.
"I Need Chocolate" Tampon Case
Pair it with Midol Maximum Strength and it's like some sort of super-clever, super-useful gift set for the PMSing!
PS: If anyone wants to snap up an extra of ANY of these items for me, I wouldn't send it back, if you know what I mean ;)